I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize