You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
