Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
