5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
