I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize