I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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