Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
