Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
