Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
