Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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