I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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