you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
