how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
