It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
