I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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