It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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