i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
