I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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