I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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