Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
