Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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