so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
