I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
