So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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