With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
