i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
