38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
