Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.