are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.