WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!