Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida