He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
