Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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