i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
