OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
