I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
