ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize