The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
