Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
