girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
