okay pat passed out under dana's car
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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