i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
