Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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