Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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