O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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