I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
