How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
