Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can't turn off my feet"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
