also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize