I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
