Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
