Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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