I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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