You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
