Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
