i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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