i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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