oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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