I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up