Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize