Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.