Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

we're no longer friends

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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(416): View more from Toronto

Best. Handjob. Ever.

(905): View more from Ontario

I'm guessing Kelly is over?

(416): View more from Toronto

Nope. Home alone.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

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(708): View more from Illinois

Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.

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