Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.