I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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