just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize